1 Neefly Ch 4

Chapter 4

Neefly, on advice from the mind-voice of the Gourd, resorts to some unexpected and possibly illegal methods, since his clever plan didn’t work out, and manages to secure the records—Zordude, having little other choice, chooses to join Meehi’s family. About 600–592 BCE.

1 And it just so happened that as we left from the cave, that I said again to by brothers: Let us go again to Sebusalem, and have faith unto the command of the Gourd; for his words are mighty above all on the earth, even mightier than Lebouf and even his many servants and their swords.

2 And I Neefly spake: Let us go up then again; and Scam spake unto me: We will go up, Neefly, but it may be better if you were to make a go of it on your own while the rest of us guard the cave.

3 And I spake again: You have all heard the voice of an angel in the dark of the cave and wherefore can you doubt? Let us go up; the Gourd will aid us even unto the destruction of Lebouf.

4 Now when I had thus spoken, they were still skeptical, but I did perceive that in their hearts that they were ruled still by their anger and lack of faith, and though they continued to grumble, they did follow me up to the walls of Sebusalem where they would wait for my return.

5 And it was night; and I, Neefly, did creep into the city and made my way unto the house of Lebouf.

6 And I was led by the mind-voice of the Gourd, fully not knowing what I was doing.

7 But I went anyway, and, arriving near the house I saw the man on the ground, and he was completely plastered drunk upon the ground.

8 And I turned him over a bit with the toe of my sandal and I saw that it was Lebouf.

9 And I saw that he was armed with his sword and was dressed in his armor, and I drew the sword from its sheath; and, even through it was really super dark, I could see that the hilt thereof was of pure gold (even through that would have been super heavy and too soft a metal to use for the hilt), and I saw that the blade thereof was of the most precious steel. And I perceived these things by the power of the mind-voice.

10 And it just so happened that the mind-voice said unto me that I should kill Lebouf; but I said in my heart: This is a thing I had never before done; for I had never before killed someone.

11 And the mind-voice said unto me again: Behold the Gourd has given him to you because of the failure of your clever plan. And he has also tried to have you killed; yea, and he stole your things, so, therefore you have some pretty good reasons and this could even be considered self defense.

12 And the mind-voice persisted: Kill him, for the Gourd has delivered him unto you;

13 And the Gourd causes that the wicked die at the hands of the righteous so that the wicked do not lead blind faith believers unto the evil paths of skepticism.

14 And now, when I, Neefly, had listened to these words, I remembered that the Gourd’s promise of life and prosperity is only to those who heed the words of the Gourd and its commands.

15 Yea, and I thought about how my descendants would need these records and the laws of the Gourd that were written upon them and anyone who would keep them from me is someone who would commit spiritual murder against my children.

16 And I also knew that the brass pages contained a lot of laws that might be important, but I avoided thinking about the one about not killing.

17 And again, I beheld that the Gourd had placed Lebouf into my hands for this cause—that I might get the records and prevent the spiritual murder of my descendants.

18 Therefore I did obey the mind-voice of the Gourd, and grabbed Lebouf by the hair, and I brought down his sword upon his neck. And the sword not being very sharp, and this being my first time, I did not get it in one strike. And I did bring the sword down many times making a little progress each time, and my arm fatigued and I had to switch hands and continue with the smiting. And, with time, my own mind began to wander about how I had thought this would have been a lot easier and the blood that sprayed about was great and the splattering thereof was also great. And I began to wonder if the sword was probably more decorative than an actual sword and that it did not seem very sharp.

19 And after a long time, I had finally removed the head of Lebouf and I spent some time to rest and vomit, and I took the clothes and armor from off of Lebouf; yea, even his undergarments; and I realized in dismay that there was a lot of blood upon all of it. And I put the undergarments and the armor upon myself.

20 And after so doing, I went into the house of Lebouf and I commanded a servant to take me to the treasury of the house.

21 And the servant thought I was Lebouf, for perhaps he beheld that the armor was that of Lebouf and perhaps it was not unusual for the garments and armor to be covered in a great deal of blood.

22 But he spake casually with me as we walked, regarding the weather, the elders of the church of Sebu, and the goings on for the coming day.

23 And I spoke with him in the pretense of being Lebouf. And the voice which I used was vaguely similar to the voice of the angel in the cave. And we did retrieve the records that were written on pages of brass.

24 And I also told the servant that we should carry the records outside the city wall to my brethren.

25 And he followed me carrying them.

26 And he, thinking that I was speaking of the brethren of the church of Sebu, did follow me.

27 And he was a real talker and kind of kept rambling on about this and that as we walked.

28 But it just so happened that when Lamer saw me coming at a distance that he was very frightened, yea even unto the loss of continence, and also Lamest and Scam. And they began to run away from me who they thought was Lebouf, and they also supposed from the drenching of blood that Lebouf had killed me and was coming to kill them also. And I, Neefly, admit that, for a moment, it made me smile.

29 But, finally, I called after them and they realized that it was me.

30 And it just so happened that the servant suddenly realized that I was not Lebouf and started to run back into the city of Sebusalem.

31 And now I, Neefly, being a man large in stature – remember that again for any paintings that get done of me, and also being strengthened by the Gourd, and I did grab hold of him and tackle him to the ground to keep him from running away.

32 And it just so happened that as I lay upon him that I spake unto him gently to calm him, that if he would listen to me and follow what I told him that we would spare his life.

33 And I spoke to him even with a promise, that he should not be afraid; that if he would depart into the wilderness with us, and believe what we believed and follow what I would ever say, because that I would eventually be a ruler over all of them, and that if he would do these things he would be a free man. For thus is the freedom that is given by the Gourd.

34 And I also said unto the him that the Gourd has told us to do this thing; and that anything that is asked of us by the mind-voice of the Gourd is a good thing, is it not? Therefore, if you will follow us and always do what I or the Gourd commanded, that he would be free.

35 And it just so happened that Zordude did find his voice after a moment of speechless confusion. Now Zordude was the name of the servant; and he, seeing that his choice was either to die or follow a small group of strangers into the wilderness, he did make a promise to come with us.

36 Now I was glad that he decided this, and this because I really did not want spend several exhausting minutes trying to remove his head with the decorative sword and also I did not want my brothers to have to stand around commenting while I was doing it and telling me that I was doing it wrong.

37 And it just so happened that when Zordude made an oath with us upon the five points of fellowship, our fears faded about him running away and telling the people of Sebu to come and chase us down. For I remained a little nervous about the possible legal issues with the ending of the life of Lebouf. And I was gladdened that my brothers did not ask about where all the blood came from.

38 And we departed, and quickly, out into the wilderness and unto the tent of our father, Meehi.